i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
