Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
