Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
