he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I looked at my own cervix.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
