you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
