Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
