Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize