I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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