Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My bed smells like the plague
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
