brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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