We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
