I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
