Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
