Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
