I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize