so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
