i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I would fuck him just for his dog
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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