He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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