something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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