i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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