Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
