My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
