bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
