People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he shaved USA in his pubs
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
