he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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