i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
