and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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