apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
