Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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