i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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