Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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