You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This baby is an asshole
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize