stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize