He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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