The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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