I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
