I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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