I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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