I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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