This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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