Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
