I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
