white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
