Nicole vs. Life
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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