I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think a kid would responsible me up
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize