good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
