2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Holy shit dude........stairs
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
