some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
