This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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