WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
