he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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