Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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