i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize