@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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