I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize