I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
