every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
