Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
did i just pee glitter
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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