he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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