He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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