Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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