Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
