i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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